Something has gone awry

Drunk nature.

We'll continue to have conversations from now on, but they will be empty. They will be nothing but an empty void where it was previously full of trivial, stupid things we loved to go for hours on end about. Things like..bacon, alcohol, progressive house. Sometimes even all three at a time.
We'll continue talking, but not with the hovering little cloud of awkwardness above our heads.

We'll talk. But we won't be listening.

"My eyes have always followed you around the room"

If I Had A Gun...

If I had a gun, I'd shoot a hole into the sun
And love would burn this city down for you
If I had the time, I'd stop the world and make you mine
And every day would stay the same with you

Give you back the dream, show you now what might had been
If all the tears you cry would fade away (away, away, away...)
I'll be by your side, when they come to say goodbye
We will live to fight another day

Excuse me if I spoke too soon
My eyes have always followed you around the room
'Cause you're the only god that I will ever need
I'm holding on and waiting for the moment to find me

Hope I didn't speak to soon
My eyes have always followed you around the room
'Cause you're the only god that I will ever need
I'm holding on and waiting for the moment for my heart to be unbroken by the sea

Let me fly you to the moon
My eyes have always followed you around the room
'Cause you're the only god that I will ever need
I'm holding on and waiting for the moment to find me

If I had a gun, I'd shoot a hole into the sun
And love would burn this city down for you

You & I

A million possibilities invaded this previously empty answer space.. Little did I know that the one final answer, was one that was unhoped-for, and the one that was the most glaringly plausible as well.. It was unwanted.

Beyond my most stubborn convictions, I will admit that I was hurt. But it was a more conceited type of hurt if anything. The ache that comes not because I knew what he said was completely true, but perhaps the niggling and childish one that came from not getting what I'd wanted.

It's true that I didn't have a clear idea of what I actually wanted out of this until I was told that I couldn't attain it.. For the most part, I thought to myself and resolved to never bring anything serious up because like I said, I didn't know what I wanted in all seriousness. All I knew is that I wanted him to be there as much as possible, I liked our time together, and I was both amazed and happy that I didn't feel so miserable, at least not with him around.

Reading back the texts and summoning memories of what we did, I wish it had never been invoked in our conversation. I cannot reverse what I said, and neither can you. I admit, I was afraid of every tiny Message Received icon that came about in each passing minute. "This isn't a conversation we should be having through texts", I repeated a few times. I liked, I really liked being in that small bubble. I liked being treated like that. Was it an ego boost? I'm not sure. I don't think so. What I am certain of is that I was happy. I was happy during a time where I would probably have been very miserable out of loneliness, had it not been for you. For that, I thank you.

I'm glad that we decided to go back to how we were before this. Honestly, I would want nothing but to have someone like you to have a special place in my life, and I would also want nothing more than to play the same role in yours. But yes, you're right when I was being as silent and as ambiguous as possible. You were right when you said it wouldn't fall through. and I was right when I concurred to that.

Perhaps things will change, for better or for worse. For now, I'm satisfied with the certainity that despite everything that can go wrong, and anything that might go well,
You'll still be my friend, in the end.