Don't you put me in the backburner.

I should refrain from being on social media during my period.

I clicked and now I just want to throw my laptop on the wall.
There's a difference between imperfect and faulty. I feel like the latter.

Why is she so fjldasfjksdakjfds and why are they so fjdsafjdsafja whereas I'm just jfasfjadslfkjsadfkdsaj and LIKE FUCKING HELL I'M GONNA GET THAT FDLasjfkljdsalkfjdlsakf FUCK YOU OMG GO FUCK YOURSELVES AND TAKE THAT FUCKING CUTE FUCKING FUCKITY FUCKING THINGS THAT I CAN'T FUCKING HAVE GO FUCK YOURSELVES WITH IT YOU FUCKING JERKS UGH FUCK FUCK FUUUUUCCCCCCCCCK FRUITCAKING FUCK.


/endrant

You don't get off anywhere making me feel like a defect, you fucking jerk.

A pet hate of mine.

"Do you get anywhere being a rude assface or just an assface?"

I really do wonder what happened that despite all my kicking, fussing and swearing that I'll never end up in UTAR, I did.

It's not like I didn't know what would eventually happen. Things weren't going to be along the lines of "FUCK YEAH I LOVE COLLEGE". At best, I would've probably ended up with the same friend for 3 years, and not the imaginary type ;)

Of course, things aren't really that bad. Sometimes, I have people to eat with, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I go on double dates where I don't really know how to talk to the other couple because of um, language barriers. I'm not kidding when I say I feel like a lamppost in my own date sometimes. Thank God this is infrequent.  The dates, I mean. Sneerssss.


There is, however,  an unfortunate situation that I always stumble into though. Lemme illustrate

Weasel : %$#@%$&%$@@#$%#$^*&^$@%$#%#&^%$

Teapot: $@#%$@^&@#$^*^%&^%$#%#$

Me : .....

Weasel : $#%$%$@^@$%$^%&^%#$#@

Me : ....

To clarify, Weasel and Teapot are speaking in a language I can't possibly comprehend/haven't learnt, hence the symbols.
 
I'll tell you exactly how I feel. I feel irritated. Anyone with some common sense when it comes to speaking would tell you it's fucking courtesy to refrain from doing that. I'm not saying don't speak in a different language, I'm just saying you shouldn't really do that in the presence of someone who doesn't understand, engaging in the same damn conversation that you're in. Of course, it's always just things you don't really want the "Me" person to know and you know what, that's even more rude. Bordering on obnoxious, you're alienating and disrespecting the other person, you're bitching (most of the time) about someone in their presence.

That's just rude, plain fucked up behaviour.

Priority and Options

Undeveloped.
Stuck in reverse.
Second, or third?
Advantage.
Flickering.
Night.
Chemistry.
Cracks.
Reasoning and lying.
The right feeling.
Expectation/Reality.
Unfailing.
A flawed and failed logic.
Theorem.
Burden.
Time.
Love.
Time.
Love.
Priority?
Option?
Neither.
Clearly.

Winter by Daughter

Drifting apart like two sheets of ice, my love
Frozen hearts growing colder with time
There's no heat from our mouths
Please take me back to my rich youth
And we were in flames, I needed I needed you
To run through my veins, like disease
And now we are strange, strangers
It's different now
Gray faced
Eyes burnt out
Flames are gone
Gloves are on
I have a feeling
Love's gone back
Went to the cinema, losing our minds
With comic fever, shutting confined spaces
Lost in the dark, my heart taken
Resting on your heart
And we were in flames, I needed I needed you
To run through my veins, like disease
And now we are strange, strangers
Wait for
Me to
Degrade before
You go
Caring
Pray for
Waste of
Daylight
Speaks when
Sun burns keeping
Undeveloped
Out of revenge
And degrading
My youth and stained on our sheets
It's on a piece of me
It's on a piece of me
Winter comes
Winter crush all
I've heard things that
I once had

Spiralling Down a Cylinder

Cancerous, murderous intent.

You turn me repulsed. You make me wish you were never created. You make me want to throw you out, burn you till you disappear. Smothered by smoke. You make me want to give up on the person I love the most. You burn my hopes for anything good. You engulf my dreams in a grey, suffocating smoke. You. You.




I hate it.

Never.

What's worst about being left alone is those stupid, inevitable thoughts that float endlessly in your mind. The words you can't seem to pluck from the air and string into a sound sentence.

Did I do something wrong. If I did, what was it?

How can I rectify something when I don't even know what's wrong? Tinker around, explore every nook and cranny in your mind. Analyse, scrutinise, question, question.

You can't expect someone to be omnipresent, they're not going to be. Their coming and going is as flitting as this moment to the next. No matter how much you try to fit them in every moment in your life, there are times where you'll be utterly, hopelessly lonely.

Perhaps then I'll realize, the world has better things to do than spare a fuck for my problems.