~!

Watched How I Met Your Mother. Watched 우리집에 왜왔니, I discovered how really really gorgeous Kang Hye Jung is, drank really bad coffee liqueur, ate a lot of chocolates, slept, rubbed cream all over my face.

D/w, I'll private my blog as soon as you guys get famous d:

Properties.

I need to change my desktop wallpaper. I think I'll Photoshop that 2PM reindeer greeting card :D

Did this year pass fast or am I too slow to catch up? I remember what I was doing last year on Christmas Eve and now, it's 2010's Christmas Eve next year. Time flies? I think time teleports.

Should I go to Penang? KL? I don't know why this should be a problem since I made up my mind before but what's this? Second thoughts? I don't even know. At least I'll have months to make up my mind.

I swear my English has deteriorated tremendously. Along with my sarcasm. Damn it.

걱정마, you look so fine

노래방!! was more amazingly awesome than I expected. I'm glad I went, although all the real thanks goes to my mum for willing to come back home to fetch me to school and JJ after that because Miss Insecure Master's Graduate [alias Bface] decided to throw a last minute tantrum and not fetch me.

Of course, this isn't the first time it has happened and I distinctively remember not going SO MANY DAMN TIMES because of Miss Insecure Master's Graduate devil-should-care-because-earth-and-hell-both-revolves-around-me attitude. To hell with her, I'm going to be just as conceited and bitchy from now on. Playing nice doesn't seem fair to me, playing fair seems to be a good way to continue this previously-biased game.

Am I scaring myself with my words? No, it's a resolution.

But back to the real point of this post, 노래방~ 노래방~ 노래방~
To say it was fun should be demeaning it. Awesome isn't the right word.How about howling? :D

Basically, it was nice. It was nice to sit there in that overly cold, dim-lighted room, sharing 8 glasses of drinks, trying to open a small bottle of water and failing every single time but it doesn't matter anyway because I'd be cold for 3 hours, I'd walk on fire and I'd burn down a city for K+J+J

Heck, I sound like I'm in love with my 친구들. I love them, period. :)

Should have used flash in a dim room. INOENAO

I can't make up my mind between giggling feverishly to myself or crying.

What a way to start a post, right? :D The house is being renovated right now, the porch specifically. Adding tiles and all that usual landscaping things that my simpleton mind fails to understand. I say ODD TIMING considering Christmas! is next next week.

IT IS IT IS IT IS.

nomnomnom

----------------
Resonate: SHINee [샤이니] - Up & Down

I hear Pacman in that song hehe.
Ekonomi Asas ceases to exist in my SPM-concerned head right now, I've resolved to study on the 17th or something.

I need to come up with a list of things to keep me preoccupied throughout my 4/7 months holiday. I am so essssited. I actually have a job waiting for me, which sucks arse because I wanna work with Jill in Singapore and make more money :( This current one seems promising, it's designing [?], something that I like [but unfortunately, suck at] and it pays well. But...I need to go away. I don't need the stress our house gives me, no when I've just finished SPM. That tasted a little dry in my mouth.

Hell no. I offered them a reason to not give the job to me - I'm underaged and I lack experience, but my sister showed them my Photoshop folder. I "have Photoshoping talent"

I nearly spat tea out, laughing. Nearly, thank God.

*shrugs* I think I'll be much happier with my drunk aunt in Singapore.

I need to eat and take a shower now. At 4.23 a.m cos I'm odd.

It's OVER. Sorta, if you count Econs.

Oh and HAPPY FLAMINHO DAY~

Antinodal

I was singing a remixed version of this song today. Twas Physics.

I don't need that A in my life, I didn't get an A in my Trials.

My song parodying skills are of epic proportions of fail. I should be studying Bio and Chem right now but I'm frantically looking for a reason to go online waiting for the caffeine to "HEADSHOT BEYOTCH" my blood system.

I feel so uninspired today. To do what? No freaking idea! I don't even feel like sleeping and hell, that's a lot coming from someone who's slept 4 hours within the past 60 hours. Insomniac tendencies aside, I've been uhh...thinking a lot and that's not something I like doing. I don't think, my brain runs on impulsive force and frick, that was the wrongest possible Physics paradigm I could use but whatever, right? I don't think, remember?

I feel like using my "HEADSHOT BLOTCH" waiting time to make a mixtape/CD/Pendrive. BUT BUT BUT, my playlist is so oversaturated with things I would normally just ignore. I have Pink Friday and My Beautiful Dark Twisted CAPSLOCKED Fantasy. Granted, I like Kanye West but no, I don't don't don't listen to stuff like this on a normal basis. Icing on the cake : I downloaded DMX's Up In Here. That song is legit tight haha.

Legit tight. I've not used words like this in such a long time, man.

I think I'll send the computer for reformatting tomorrow. I need PS back!

Fine line.

I believe this pre-post video thing is going to be a habitual one.

I'm only here to say how much I should be studying up on my Physics but my unfortunately, my need for studying has been overridden by my hate for menstrual cramps.

Damn, I hate being a girl, sometimes.

Gather gather.

To questionably dressed 14 year olds with your boobs hanging out where your bra is supposed to be, WHERE IS YOUR DAMN SELF RESPECT?

I feel so old for advocating decency.

I know it's one sided.

P,D, STD

I'm glad YOU're not reading this. YOU wouldn't know how desperate I am.

Blackbird

Funny.

I'm almost starting to like what people say and without any discernible reason. Seems to me I'm taking a different approach. I'm going to observe and read what you say, laugh and press Alt+F4. What 'anyone' says now is unequal to what they'd say later.

I call BS.

----------------
Resonate: Interpol - C'mere

We're not good right now. Not at all.

I talk too much, you talk too little. This isn't balance, this is an overdose.

I miss conversations. The ones where we could talk for hours. It's empty now. A white noise friendship.

The trouble is that you're in love with someone else. You know the next line, but it shouldn't be me:)

You're not going to read this. Inoes. In a way, I'm happy. For the rest of the ways, I miss you so fucking much.

Maybe next year things will improve? We can go yum cha together. You can bring your future girlfriend because I love her a lot too. Don't you dare question me now, I'll have her back faster than I would've had yours.. Douche.

Yeah, I miss you, you idiot. How on earth did we ever become friends? It's so puzzling. You're puzzling.

The most important exam of my life [so far] is in 40 days and I'm obviously not supposed to be here.


With that, I digress.

Adequately gay post to my best 친구 [:D]

Umm. please don't get scared by the title and..hide or something

Maybe you'll be back from KL when you read this,

Just so you know, there isn't any 7.5 years of friendship that I've regretted or 5 minute fights I haven't regretted. To be completely honest, I feel like laughing when I think about those arguments and at the same time cry because it was just time wasted like hell. Then again, I have much more awesome moments with you and our other friends compared to the cringe-worthy moments so for that, thank you, and thank God.

I'm glad I've been there the same way you've [and the others] have been there for me especially when I need my friends the most. I can't thank you enough for a lot of things. For putting up with me and my PMS-sy days and the days when I get all too annoyed that I can't understand Korean [but I'm picking up righttt??? d:] but yeah, I owe you a huge apology and thank you again.

We both changed, it was really unavoidable but our crazy, sappy-sweet, strangely-gay-at-times friendship hasn't so for that, I'm constantly thanking God and I'll keep on thanking because I'm very sure that it's going to remain that way for a long time to come. Seriously, Jo and Kris and you and I will probably be in our 40's [*cringes*] one day and one of us would randomly say "SUPPLIES" and we'd end up laughing and killing our back from all that laughter because that's the crazy part of our friendship, right?

Short and sweet isn't really how I write things so yeahh..

It's October 5th, the last quarter's birthday and we both know that school's going to end soon. It's sad that it is because you never really know what you've got till it's gone or maybe that just applies to me but at least I'm left with the certainty that our friendship isn't going to end the moment our schooling days do.

So for that, cheers to 7 years, 8 months and 29 days A.K.A 2829 days of friendship and a hell lot of days more to go :D

----------------
Resonate: Gavin DeGraw - Belief

To whomever reading this, know that I love you.

Because I'm awake at 2.31a.m. Because my face is red and dark and hot. Because of my wet keyboard. Because I miss my brother all too much. Because I'm going to miss KJJ. Because I'm going to miss all of them. Because I'm a mess. Because all I want to do now is tell everyone how much I love them. Because I can't put it verbally, I'm telling you now, I love you.

You don't need to know me. Hell, you've just stumbled here by Googling FFXII for all I know. But because I could go any time, even though I don't want to, I just need to get one thing laid down. I love all of you. And I'll miss you even if I've never met you.

I'm tired with the straight face attitude. I'm not strong, I can't keep saying "It'll be okay" because I don't know that although there's a huge part of me, no matter how much I try to push away, keeps coming back to tell me one thing, it's going to anything but okay and I'm going to go through hell next year without familiar faces. Like I've said before, I'm not like some people, I can't/don't make friends easily but if I did, they'll last for so long that when it's actually time to go, I can't bring myself to say goodbye because it hurts too much like having 1/2 of your breathing cut short.

I'm not strong, I'm only pretending.

Remember last year on May 1st? When I was fine at church. I was holding a basket full of flowers, and I smiled like everything was okay. I even said "Duty calls".

That was a lie.

'If I put on my strong face on, they would look at me and say "If she can be strong, why can't I?" and stop crying.'

But I couldn't afterwards and I failed. I cried and became angry with myself because I allowed myself to look so weak and vulnerable and I didn't do enough to make anyone feel better.

I don't mind crying alone. I mind everyone else crying alone.

This is a curse. But I'm only human.

Right?

Sorry you're such a sap, self.

DAMN IT.

Currently having a Texas-sized headache that's been going for 4 days, since Grandmum came back from Penang to...our house. I'd be much happier just crawling up in a corner and crying because it hurts.so.damn.bloody.much but I'd be at my happiest playing Birth By Sleep. An added fact, that game is too awesome to let go. Granted, SPM isn't going to get further any time soon but I've been balancing it out. Thanks to my 'Responsible Routine', internet time's been cut 2 hours too. But yes, I'm on Twitter and my geeky websites every single day notwithstanding the reduced time yo~ I be pimpin'

I just realized how embarrassing that sounds after 2 years. Oh well, at least I have 3 other people to be embarrassed with.

Tsk

----------------
Resonate: Kina Grannis & David Choi - My Time With You

This song is so damn cute, man. They make such a good duo. And yeah, this is my front-running song for Grad Night.

Hey 친구, you're scaring me lah. I wish I could just give you a hug. Takpa, HUGS anyway. 건배? :)

There we go.

Went on a spree today. ;D

//

I want to be able to say "I want you every single day, one night more than forever"

PASTA

PASTA

PASTA

PASTA

iLove this show, man.

Méprise

----------------
Resonate: Regina Spektor - Fidelity

OH HELL.

I have a tapping feeling that our AddMaths papers are going to come back tomorrow, slapping me to the rediscovery that a.I suck at AddMaths. and b.I should have studied more. Here's to NOT taking Add Maths for granted the next next time around, loves.

I don't make wish lists [Shut up, I.], at least not under usual circumstances. But ah...here goes. Also, people need to be edified on bandeau dresses. (I'll take a look at this list if and when [by God's grace] I'm well to do next time] ;D

1. A BANDEAU DRESS for grad night <-- cocky, MGS-ian way of saying prom, sans date [at least not of the opposite sex heh.] Preferably the rose-coloured one from TopShop. It's CHEAP! 2. Brian Atwood pumps. Or those incredibly pretty Sergio Rossi pumps that are too high, I'm pretty sure the price could pay for my future college fees and also, I honestly don't know which collection are they from.

3. BIRTH BY SLEEP DAMMIT. I swear to God with this whole issue of my PS2 KAPOW-ing on me and yes I'm aware that's not the noise a PS2 makes when it gives up and added to the fact that thank to my PS2's demise, I can't play any damn game displayed on the TV [which my dad changed and is now bigger woohoo!], I am THIS *metaphoric inch* close to practicing RPG-celibacy.

Also, I'm kind of done with playing RPGs on my PSP. There's just no fun in playing in a screen that's smaller than my palm. <-- Totally unrelated but HOLY CRAP, SINCE WHEN ARE MY PALMS THAT BIG?! FUHML.

I hope to God that when I'm 20 or 21, I won't look back at this blog, think what the hell was going on through my head when I measured my PSP's screen with my palm and wonder if those 'lost years' were really spent on popping pills and blogging every 4 weeks with mediocre English. Or crummy, take your pick, future-self.

I might just have a sense of pride for it.

No, not really. I'm only going to laugh. ;)

"You shouldn't do that!"

Well, wasn't that an interesting weekend? :D Friday at Kristal-unnie's. Saturday at Uncle George's. Sunday again at Uncle George's.
Of random words.

I'll be back. When I grow out of my boredom for this. Lifelong blogger pssshhhawww. Also, I have REVIEWS to write. :D

HEY BEAUTIFUL.

:\ Contentment is debatable.

Hulk no team Jacob or Edward. Hulk team no supporting emotionally abusive arseholes.

---------------
Resonate: The All-American Rejects - Swing Swing

:D Sorry ahhh, very long time never blog. Busy Tweeting. That aside, trials are approaching, ergo, internet time is downgraded. Ironic considering how I don't study even when the internet isn't being used... Moving on...

I have nothing much to say, tbh, I don't even like blogging anymore. It's a dead industry in my world. And my head hurts right now....

BUT THERE WAS WORLD CUP.
Naturally, I was excited because uhm, it's the Fifa World Cup. Need I say more? :D
I was supporting the Argentinians because I really thought they'd win, Spain too because they're always the underdogs laa. But Argentina lost to Germany, I didn't mind that cos' Germany always had my heart since 02' but in the end the underdogs won [:D] although I DID support the Orange :D I still think the Dutch weren't in top shape, so it was mehhh. Still..THANKYOU INIESTA.

Yeah, I'm currently creating a new system of liberalism+sports+a dash of hippie so shut the hell up.

This blogpost deserves a ¡Viva España!

For you my darling underdog, I wish to get married there someday :] Take note, my future-yet-to-be.

Be back when BBS is released. I'm not going to wait for SPM to be over to play a game I've been waiting for since 3 years ago. Sides, I could finish it in a week anyway :D

ALSO....STARCRAFT 2
IS COMING OUT BABY!

sigh.

----------------
Resonate: Yellowcard - Ocean Avenue


Sleeping all day, staying up all night. I always had a strange attraction to this song.

Atcha?

NATALIE.......Is an odd name for me and for some unknown reason, reminds me of the colour purple. Nonetheless, it's the one I'm happiest with so YEAH! Also, it beats Elliot and Jane and.....LOLCOPTER, not going into detail here.

Meh great ho. Bohot great ho :D Meh kyan karoon? Kuch nehi. Meh rukiya karenga.
Don't bother using a translator. I sure didn't.

Anyway, this blogpost is just a way to pass time while I'm supposed to be doing delayed homework while waiting for my parents to return. Meh, I'm better off watching Goa instead. TA!

ALL

THE

TIME///

Rooster Illusion

----------------
Resonate: Florence + The Machine - Cosmic Love

I sometimes wish I had half the enthusiasm I had last time for updating my blog, going on Facebook, stalking other blogs and whatnot. Most of my time and tabs are now spent on Wikipedia, Unreality, Cracked [Don't judge me dammit], Fashionista, TWITTER, occasionally Lemondrop and more or less any site based on conspiracy theories, pretty shoes and whatshiet.. Everything seems so manufactured and systemically done now that it kind of loses it's edge. Remember when blogging was actually unique and cool? Mine excluded because my blog still sucks hell hitherto and afterwards ;D

I don't know what caused this unanticipated mood shift but maybe it has to do with how I perpetually feel like a 17 year old trapped with a centenarian mentality. [Almost] everything now is just...mindnumbing and clichéd and me? I get bored easily and right now, I. Am. Painstakingly. Bored. With. Everything.

It's like how initially, I'm psyched to try all the carnival rides but after trying all of them, either one made me throw up, one had wet paint, the other was just boring and in the end, I don't like anything, reverting back to boredom.

Damn myself, everything I seemed to have such a huge adoration for last time seems so despicably unamusing now. Hell, it's even boring me as I write this. Even One Way don't Tweet as often as they did before but ohhhhh totally redundant. Anyhoo, I can't tell if this 'thing' is just arbitrary or forced on by looking at people going "OHH HAYYY, I GOT A NEW BLOG/TWITTERRR" because yeah, I've already moved past that stage. That n00blet phase [Crap, I misspelled that as booblet. No judgingg], been there done that.

It's like as if my life (now) is a revolving door, and I'm caught in-between. Stress for fun [or lack-there-of], fun substituting priorities, deteriorating health and altogether damnation. I'm not generalizing, saying no one else faces this. I'm just saying, I'M not good at facing all this. I can't take the pressure. I hate getting sick. I hate the fact that I suck at managing my time. I hate the fact that I put everything unneeded at the front. I especially hate the fact that when I try to put things at the right place, they end up shifting.

By nature, I'm a control freak and I can't stand to see things get out of way but dammit, I can't do anything. To feel powerless is what's making me so damn annoyed, jaded even. Altogether HATEFUL. Now that sucks. For fear that I'm sounding like an annoying teenager [bummer], I am....going to try to sound like an adult.......

Ahhh phail. It's contradicting my "17 year old self trapped with a centenarian mentality" Heh. Y'know, I sometimes wish I was born in a different era, different place. Again, this comes from not fitting in with anything now, I'm guessing.. I'd rather be in the 17th century, in Italy. Florence, specifically. Or Manhattan, 1930's to 40's. Or London, late 19th century. It would be insane. It'd be endearing to live in those years, those places. Probably because of the simplicity of life. Minus the 19th century part, it would be nice. Not living with..temptation and redundancy. To have life, as simple, simple as possible.

Or I'd end up dead thanks to my skin colour. Pffft. I should be satisfied.

I just realized what I started with has nothing to do with what I ended. Again, I've gone horribly off-topic. This probably stemmed from my trivial, trivial, treeeeeviiiiiallllllllll self.

Menyampah sial.

Radioactive

----------------
Resonate: Fiona Apple - Why Try To Change Me Now

I'm currently watching a depressingly riveting movie as a my holiday initiation. Kind of....ironic. IF at all I can get the meaning of the word correctly. I'd hate to think I've been messing up irony for a long time running now. Dammit.

It's kind of funny when we [Tis a loose term, subjected to a truckload of interpretations] direct posts to "You" and then expect people NOT to read it but the original intention and the way it's typed is to HAVE them read it. I'm laughing at the whole shebang as I type this because hell, I'm guilty as charged. It's like...privatizing a blogpost with "You" all over it. It's being vague, but in a direct sense. Like writing posts in TINY fonts. Like taking part in the gay pride march and saying "I don't want gay rights to be approved." Like telling your sister "You CAN'T GO OUT" and then giving her the car keys.

It's contradictory.
It's human.
I call BS and hypocrisy. Juste pour le fun :D

Then again, this is all just too normal to notice. It sort of just fits itself into the whole system so that we never notice, at all. There should be a name, but I can't think of anything that fits. I'm sure there's one if I Wiki-ed harder but hell, doing that would be like...Wiki-ing "breathing" or "gossip"

We never realize what we do, most of the time we've got our world revolving around someone else's problem, not our actions. It's a reaction>action mentality. Ehhh, I'm generalizing. It's ONLY the impulsive lot of us.

Hmm.

Remind me

September 7

Hmmmmm... Come to think of it now, it would be kind of weird to say "THAT'S SO LESBIAN." Nonetheless, I refer to people as..people. Straight or gay. How should having a love life that isn't necessarily bad just because it's different have any gargantuan impact on how people see you anyway? Better question, why IS it like that? Should I call my sister a slut because she's had [I've lost count] boyfriends? Does that make her a bad person? How about me? Should I be considered nun-ish or priestly because I don't really have a social life?

The answer is staring at your face.


Honestly, we haven't moved past the stage yet, have we?

Suit up!

Icon tweaking > Physics.

Sleep is irrelevant right now. My Econs bitch need some smacking up.

Frackit I need sleeepppppp. Or Young Sky. Or both :D

ZOMG
WTF
DARTHVADERACUTEASTHMA
AUTOIMMUNEBBQ
DIEEEEE

Cough. Peter replied me. Ezri is on Cloud 11 :D

..I never noticed that when you decrease a font size to 1px or 1%[Idk :\], you can't see it anymore. SRZ SHIET. Don't believe me?



SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Alright. Back to srz bznz. Physics time is now /sadface/

Eler.

Know what?
Make this hard, and I'm gonna back off from everything. Seriously, I'm really damn jaded right now and it's not like I'm saying everyone else isn't but yeahhhh, I'm gonna back off. I said I'm sorry already, I also explained. To everyone. But if no one wants to listen to the truth and insists on waiting for that glorious day where I'm gonna tell their preferable version of the truth, then I can't do anything. I didn't sit around hoping things will get better. I did what I had to do, I apologized and I twisted the truth [Since no one would believe the real truth, I knew for a fact :///] and I ended up telling the truth and apologizing again but if no one wants to accept that, then so be it. I can't change the way things are.

I'll only wait. And while I'm waiting, perhaps I'll try and figure out when exactly did a huge, monumental revolution in friendship happened. Atomic bomb collision boom nuclear dieeee revolution. Pffffft.

Alright, goodbye. Have a good life.
Also, thank you for ruining my friendship, dudette.

[Edit on May 21st.]
This is such a funny sounding post LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

YEAH.

HAPPY
BIRTHDAY
JILL

I know I've wished you already but I like big things like these. Photoshop isn't working, so no card :( BUT ILU ILU A LOT DESKMATE SAYANGKU :D Have a great one, God bless and..Chill yo~ :D

Wind it up.

Merci beaucoup,

mes chéris

Action/Reaction

----------------
Resonate: James Morrison - You Give Me Something


Wow. You need an overload amount of guts and balls to pull that off. ;D

OPINION TIME. :]

Yesterday, during Sunday School [Shutup ._.], 3 of my friends - to put it since I'm nice like that although they're actually a bunch of a-holes - got called out. 2 of them are actually dating, at least I still hope they are and it wasn't so hard to figure out why they got called out. See, a week before that, our whole class were apprised on how we should refrain from relationships for now because basically, if you date now, chances are the girl's gonna end up knocked the frickadoodle up and the guy ends up being teh ultimate sleazebag with the only intention of getting into her pants.

..................but that's a pretty general statement if not damn biased. Just because they've seen cases where this 14 or 15 or 16 year old girl becomes preggers and her douchebaggy boyfriend runs off on her doesn't give anyone the right to stigmatize teenage relationships. Imo, if you're smart enough to know that you're ready for a relationship, you're smart enough to avoid getting fricked up at the end. If you're dumb and just plain horny in the first place, then you're just a desperate public phone junkie just...hormonally raging. I guess. We all are ._.

The whole church shebang stemmed from a bunch of kids who were caught with their pants down [literally] in the church canteen [Unhygienic much?] and this other kid [according to my aunt who's like..THE GossipGirlAjumma in our church] was caught...masturbating. In church. WHATTHEBURNTFUDGECAKE?

Granted, those were pretty damn stupid kids although I don't mind whether they did it as much as I mind where they did [Seriously guys, book a bloody hotel room or zip your pants up till you can afford one] but still, there isn't any point in labelling the entire teenage nation as a bunch of immature, stupid, brash bunch of people because seriously, that's GENERALIZING. It's generic. And altogether unfair.

Not all of us are dumb, brash and horny as they think we are. True, we haven't been long enough in world to experience everything but that doesn't justify the fact that we're stupid and live completely in impulse, it seriously doesn't. Live and learn, I guess. Not live your life according to someone else's rules. That's BS. Sides, if you're going blame to root of the stigma, better blame it on the older generation anyway.

It isn't fair. I feel bad for them. Tbh, I just don't get what's wrong with being in love. Is there some kind of benchmark age that automatically grants you maturity? No, there isn't. There's only lessons in life. Lessons that you learn, by yourself and not by having someone else preaching to about the dangers of teenage relationship. Seriously, people?

As for me, I'm gonna let it ebb and flow. What can I possibly say that'll change something stupid that's been going around for generations, right? Ughh, hypocrites

I still don't get what was so incomprehensible about "I'd be much happier using my hands right now."

Oh wait. I think I just saw it >.>

Sooner.

For some reason, I always loved this song. She wrote for a kid who got murdered in the Osaka school massacre. Just before she died, that girl, Rena won on essay competition on who they admired the most. She wrote on Utada T_T RIP Rena Yamashita. :')

hm.

I'm not sorry. Fact, I'm doing the exact same thing you are. Does it suck that the odds aren't hinging towards you?

Mehhhhh

Hey, wait. I got a new complaint.


I REALLY wanna donate blood but my dad has forbade me thanks to my B-12/6/Godknowswhat deficiency.

VGL. Or lackthereof, is making me sad. I go sleep now okay bye bye

[EDIT]

----------------
Resonate: Clazziquai Project - Tell Yourself

HURRAH MGS!
Congrats, people!

BAHHHHH VGL. I'm still suffering from depression. FTS. I just can't believe how fracking insensitive my dad was. IT'S NOT FAIR AT ALL. It just makes me so angry that all I wanna do now is fuck SPM up just to spite him but I'm too kiasu for all that shiet so that's a no. Sides, I hate that accompanying guilt that comes post-frakup.

That aside, exams and video games aren't good together for me. Considering this is THE year for Square releases. FFXIII, Agito, Birth By Sleep, Unnamed KH game, Versus XIII, The 3rd Birthday and whatnot.

WAIT. HOLD IT. FFXV?! Square, you are such a tease.

GOOD FRACKING GOSH.

HOUSE.HOUSEEEEE.

Turn the light off, carry me home

----------------
Resonate: Good Charlotte - We Believe


SHANNONSHANNON I NEED YOU TO READ THIS!
BABE. LOOK. LOOOOOOK. Aren't you high right now? 3 NEW GAMES. Awesome right? Tetsuya-sama obviously has an obsession with the number 3 because this really seems like deja vu. Remember how we were going crazy when we found out that Square's releasing 3 KH games? Well, HE'S DOING IT AGAIN :D HELL YEAH!

We shall parody a song tomorrow, about the wonders of Kingdom Hearts tralalalalalalalala

OMG SHANNON AREN'T YOU EXCITED?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?! This totally just Molotov cocktail-ignited my nearly-extinguished inner KH fangirl.

EPIK

FRACKING

WIN

Hello 600th post. :D


Brains more, mouth less, okay Ezz? Lack of sleep has really been fracking me up

I hope you're okay, friend. You have a shirt here to wet. :)
LEAN ON ME, superfast jellyfish ;D

Lean.

Blogging appeal? You buta ke?. B'doh. :]

Pesta pictures are on the other blog

"I JUST HAD A REVELATION. Akka and I are different."
"You have something in common, You both hate your menstruation."

Daddy, well said.

I'm in the mood for some colour. Room needs to be repainted, so yah. Browny yellow anyone?

Lights, camera, engage.

----------------
Resonate: Paper Route - Gutter

Hulllo there. Apologies that my last post consists of one word and the last PROPER post consisted of only lolpics. Je suis désolé. Terribly.

This is going to sound terribly cliched, but I'm really tired these days and I'll be happy to say I'm not the only one. Seems to me like 24 hours a day isn't enough. It's funny because if someone would've asked me before, I would've unhesitatingly answered that 24 hours was an overload. See how perceptions change when you grow older? From tossing and turning, waiting to go to sleep - because you've slept too much in the afternoon - to pretty much salvaging every chance you get for shut-eye. It's....disturbing. The changes are pretty damn overwhelming to think about.

Coupled with an insomnia revisit, it's like living a nightmare. Except hey, I don't mind my eyes shut while having a nightmare :] Also, I'm hazarding a guess at suffering from caffeine withdrawal symptoms since I'm easily depressed [and I mean in the most serious sense of the word] and mood-swinging like my mum on her period. It saddening really. And yes I might just say it's menghappifyngkan one minute from now just to prove my point ;)

The world is boring.

Tomorrow, I want drama.

There's Pesta tomorrow. Again, the pre-event feeling in underwhelming. Incredulously disaffected.

I should get this book ;)

BORING.

I'll drag the sea to show you water.

Mehh.
Well you know my visceral love for funnies, don't ya? :)









Happy Wednesday ;D

"Nyahh, can I go for a concert on your birthday? While Mummy's in Bali"
"Good.. Go. Leave" <-- I'm not joking. He REALLY wants to be alone.
"Great. It's a concert where they specifically play video game soundtracks"
"...Why don't you concentrate on your studies?"
"..whaa???"
"You don't want to concentrate on your studies at all? *sarcastic tone kicks in* Good la, girl."

WTF.What the flying fudgecake was that? One minute he says go but the minute he hears video games, it becomes a fudgecaking studies issue?

Let me get one thing clear. If I'm not fruitcaking going for the concert, I most definitely am not going to spend it studying. So, sod off if for one minute you think that I'm going to spend 5 hours studying during a free weekend. I don't do it that way.

I somehow knew this was going to happen. Typical. And the worst part is that I'm the who who gets blamed whenever it happens. Till the point that hell, people give up on me and renounce the invite. Like.. Alice.

Hi. It's like hello, only shorter.

----------------
Hello, there iTunes - Alexi Murdoch - Orange Sky

"Successes only last until someone screws them up. Failures are forever."

I actually gave up hoping that they'll come a long time ago. But today, I got a text from Crystal saying it's HERE. IN MALAYSIA. Surreal right? The best part is that the tickets are overwhelmingly cheap :D Additionally, *waves student card at face* I'm seriously contemplating on going. I guess VGL is like my SSII. Have I mentioned the tickets are cheap? Still, Idek. Mum's going to be in Bali and April 17th is Daddy's birthday. *shrugs* He just wants to laze around the house, the man is 54 after all. I'd feel bad if I dumped him in Ipoh and ran off to KL to VGL. Frak my subconscious..

I don't think he'll mind.

Even just now, when I was browsing through a random SSII photoalbum on Facebook, Mum came up to me to hover - something that I find incredibly intrusive and creepy - and she asked me what was it. I explained to her and her response : "Why didn't you go??" I reckon she thinks I have psychopathic tendencies because I don't go out a lot, she's probably afraid that I'm going to be one of those creepy haXors who stay in their parents' basement when they're 30 or does that stigma only apply to man? Sexism pssshh.

But Shannon is going to be in GB Camp. It won't be the same without my Banira, WHY?! Dammit.

Banira/Dorothy Darling/Double B,
Is there any way I can kidnap you during GB Camp and drive off trainride to KL so we can watch VGL?! It'll be like Stockholm Syndrome, see? Why oh why, Shan?
-Fangu.

Propensity phail.

Sighs. Crystal, I'll ask and get an answer, most probably yes :D
I HOPE THEY PLAY ONE WINGED ANGEL. And...PASSION. Passion would be nice :D

That aside. School today was interesting. We found out today that generosity has a minimum value, the maximum ad infintum. Mostly, you'll just border on "Pompous arsehole" by the time you go over 10 bucks. It's just..not fair, you know? You can't force me to donate, I refuse to. You just can't. Call me an insensitive person, but I hardly think someone I barely know and barely going to miss would care about my donation. So, what's the deal? Geez.

My school is verging on dystopian. Ugh.

On a brighter note, Vanille Tribute Day was held today to commemorate FFXIII's awesomeness at being the numero uno game in the US. So we went to school with pigtails :D It looked cute! Dearest friend however, rebelled ;D Tomorrow, Serah Tribute Day! Side ponytails for the overwhelming win.

Has anyone seen House so vulnerable before? It was.. beautiful. I still wanna give Freedom Master a huge hug :(

Yes, I cried. While watching the most sarcastic show ever. It's..strange. And lovely.

Never thought I'd live to say the day I put on pigtails to school :] The things I do for fandom :D

Mattress company :D

----------------
Hello, there iTunes - Paper Route - Gutter

I've deduced!
Orphan - the boss of Final Fantasy XIII - looks like a psychopathic version of Cogsworth

Just me?

Picture this. Cogsworth gets sucked into Tartarus [Persona 3] and that totally nuked the sanity out of his head till his now sanity-less head adapts a more HIM-ish personality, cross-dresses, goes totally commando on the whole Midas concept, and then get miraculously transported into FFXIII, where he becomes one angry fal'Cie.

Now? :D

Fine, I'm insane. Pshhhh.

Ahh holiday. When you're here, I have homework. Sorry I haven't had time to bond with you. :(

ITM

----------------
Hello, there iTunes - The Wallflowers - One Headlight

The internet connection is MINDBLOWINGLY slow. I'll wager this is a probable sign from God telling me to hit mt homework since holy frickery I have 3 days worth of unfinished homework since I keep on getting up at 2 every single day. And tuition. Scoffs.

Well then. YOU KNOWWWWW, I'm a happy person when you allow me to be. And I won't FFK you if you give me a chance not to FFK you. So...friends. You're really not being fair. It's proverbial. Right. And you're a definite arse.

Cease-fire?

YEAH!

----------------
Hello, there iTunes - Simple Plan - I'd Do Anything

HELL YEAH

My driveeeee is backkkkk. And yea, I feel pretty damn amazing right now. It's like popping Red Bull AND Pseudoephedrine at the same time except nope, it's not liquid substances, it's G O D. I feel freaking good because of GOD. Big thanks to the CHS Youth. They're sublimely awesome at what they do.

Bought Code: Veronica X and MGS 3 yesterday but I'm not gonna play it for a long time. I have homework being shoved at me from each direction. Yesterday, eyeraped the FFXIII trailer with Shannon and Joel. Oh yes, Shannon and I are emulating Banira and Fangu. Tsk tsk..

Cos' we are from Ipohhhhhh,
limestone caves very spiky,
My Ngah Choi Kai very tasty
Coz' now you're in Ipohhhhh

Razzle Dazzle

----------------
Hello, there iTunes - Clazziquai - She Is

"SHANNNNONNNN"
"EZZZZZZ"
"IT'S OUT IT'S OUT OUT OUT OMG IT'S OUT I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S OUT"
"YEAHHHH OMG SHE'S HERE"
"UH HUH. HAPPY LIGHTNING RELEASE DAY!!!!!!"
*hugs/shakeshands*

That was Shannon and I on Tuesday, in school on the first day of our exam....and were we doing in the sea of cation-memorizing people instead of well, cation-memorizing? We welcomed the international version of Final Fantasy XIII.

*Sighs happily*

Final Fantasy XIII - A heaven-on-earth RPG I've been waiting for what seems like longer than eternity. Pshhh, I'm only getting it probably after trials or SPM [._.] but still, the mere thought of it being in the same place I live [sort of. I'm talking city-wise], IN ENGLISH, at a dedicated game shop in Parade is enough for me go on full-raging geekgasms.

Add in a best friend who's equally or more psyched for it than me and there you have : Me doodling I wanna marry Claire Farron during my Biology test. I confess very meekly, I fail at life after that Claire Farron stunt during the fricking test >.>

Howevah, I'm still fricking figgen freaktacularly ecstatic that's its out, and I'll happily admit, I have a massive girlcrush on a video game character whom I'm going to be mini-picspamming you with after this. I've read the reviews already and they're looking pretty damn good. But then again, this IS a Squenix production, so I doubt I'm going to be needing a review for FFXIII :)

Oh my god this pixelated bitch is too hot.

Also, I'm currently having a penchant for Christina Hendricks. She's breathtakingly beautiful :O AND NO, I have not been staring at her boobs enough to say that.

I'm seriously considering my SO now. *smirks*

Ezz is on a high.

:D

AND A BIG MAD LOVE-FILLED CONGRATS TO ASH, KIRAN, KRISTALLLLL AND NANI COS THEY KICKED ASS OUT THERE ON THE FIELD!
So very sorry for not running with you guys cos' I busted my legs.
Still, YOU WERE GREAT! WE WON!!!!!

Also, adding to the ':D', GO (back to) RULE EM, VICTORIA!

These mean so much to me, my class won! It's my last year in school [hell, I sound unlike myself today but yeah, I'm just toooo happy for words] and my beloved beloved sportshouse, Victoria won after 9 (or 13) years of losing to Cavell. Guess there was no way in hell we were gonna give up ten years to Cavell. The best part, we won with over 1000 marks. Throughout my schooling years, I've never seen that.
So..for the last time ever,

RARAVICTORIA!

Class.

Ravissant!

----------------
Hello, there iTunes - SHINee [샤이니] - 누난 너무 예뻐 [Replay]

:D I'm currently enjoying amazing sound since I hooked both my speakers and headphones up. They're both only working one sided, and are balanced now. Everything sounds.....vividly good.

Sports Day. Meh. The older you get, the less apathetic you get towards school events...or not so much. I'm actually pretty pumped this year since Vicky-T's result so far is looking pretty good. If only we're allowed to bring cameras, last year laaa.


I was thinking of 3D films while distracting myself in History and did a list of movies that would be pretty damn good on 3D. Advent Children, LOTR, Dark Knight, yada. And on the list of movies I'd rather not watch on 3D, The Passion of Christ and Saw. Saw, no questions. but The Passion? Gudddd. I don't think I'd be able to stay in the theatre during that 10 minutes torture scene. No shiet! I watched it when I was 12-ish and I fricking cried. And then during PAG, they showed the scene and again, I flipping cried like a flipping sick puppy alongside Clark and Sonia. Just....Damn. Even if you're not Christian, you'd at least feel a little bit of sympathy. I remember saying "I hate those fucking people" after the scene. Sad truth is, people are like that aren't they? Lalang.

Right. My sister is back. And no, I'm gonna go into full Stereotypical-I-Hate-My-Life commando mode. Although I'm not exactly very happy about her being back that much either. See, she contracted chickenpox. And I've never gotten chickenpox before. So, yeahhh, do the x+x math. If I get it somewhere during exam week, I'm going to SMACK THE HELL OUT OF A BUNNY. I DIDN'T JUST GET OVER LAST YEAR'S PHASE TO CONTRACT CHICKENFRICKINGPOX AND MISS MY FRACKING EXAM, okay?

I'm going into hyperchondriac mode now bye.

[Edit]
PHEWWWWWWW. Incubation period is 10-20 days. I'm positively sure I won't get it next week :D

Sorry Avatarians [:D] but imo, District 9 trumped Avatar. Sure, Avatar had asskicking graphics to boot, but honestly though, the story was such a Pocohantas-ripoff. District 9 ftw!

Now if you'd kindly excuse me, I have to execute my nor-so-failsafe studying plan. Ta!

----------------
Hello, there iTunes - Queen - Somebody To Love

Fashion condemns us to many follies; the greatest is to make ourselves its slave."
- Napoleon Bonaparte

>.> PHYSICS?! Whatever, not all teachers are like that, and I'm not gonna spend a blogpost talking about how she made the 3 of us miss our bus and resort to going back at 3.30 Physics. Peka? Do you want me to smack a bitch instead? FADJFKLSKLGSDJDGSD I WAS NOT RUDE TO HER. IT WAS ONE QUESTION.

Rant aside, I spent the whole day being and insulting, bitter ol' prick [SHOCKER!?] and I remember having 2 or more conversations about fashion. Because...one day, I'm going to COMPLETELY give up my beloved Converses for (more) 4 inch heels. It's...the transition period.

Dress DOWN for church? Funny. Ours must be a Catholic thing, to dress UP for church xD

That reminds me, MY HIGH-WAISTED SKIRT DOES NOT FIT ME :( It just..goes down. Bawwwlllllll..

"They're ALL just boobs."

6th Day of Fashion Week has been so-so. Hats off to that Darth Vader-ish thing designed by Jaiden James. It's just..woah.

Cause And Effect

----------------
Hello, there iTunes - Blink-182 - All The Small Things

I prefer to not blog about school, takut takut someone from school stumbles upon my blog and decides to report me for vulgarism or whatnot. I'd like to think my blog doesn't offend anyone since the only people I've come to insult is my sister and mother. Mehh.

I quote LaiSan "This is week is a horrible week" School has decided to play the "'Let's overturn the board and eff up everyone's life!" game. Our class pissed off almost every teacher that entered, we might as well have been demerit-ed 500 marks :P I'm more-than-annoyed at two of my teachers, nitpickers!! At least, get my name right . Geez. 2 mistakes and I've been labeled for the rest of my school life. For the whole period, I just sat there and glared at her. Now if only stares could kill.

I digress. I wanna play Bioshock 2 but damnn.

Also, tomorrow's a holiday! WOOHOO.


Keep on badmouthing her, mum. Karma's a bitch and it's only gonna come back to bite you. Hasn't it already? Remember, what goes around, comes around.

Someday.

Woah. Just woah. Up until 5 minutes ago, my life was devoid of a WTH-inducing phone conversation. Alas, the spell has been broken. I just had the most disturbing phone conversation of my life.

A lady, sounded like mid-20's just called, asking for my brother.

My brother. Who passed away. Last May.

What the burning hell?

Sometimes, we'd have phone calls like these. It's very seldom but it still happens. And the callers are job employers since he was looking for a good job [I have to resist the urge to say, TOO LATE A-HOLE] before he passed on but this lady was different.

Her name is Michelle.

And she is his ex-girlfriend.

What the flying fudgecake-inducing?

Indeed.

According to her, they were both in KL when they started dating. And then she went off to Singapore, losing contact with my brother. It didn't help that he lost his handphone too. Anyway, she's been trying to call for a really long time but I reckon she's been calling in the afternoon or something cos' no one picks up and I only come back at 2.45pm, so yeah.

Today, she called. I picked up. She asked for him. I was silent. I asked her (politely :D) who she was. She said her name's Michelle [I thought it was Emily at first]. I told her, he passed away last year. She nearly says WTF and goes into this verbal-manic thing. I was calm, thank the Lord. She says "What? Wait. What? WHAT?" and she sounds stunned. So am I, as this is just beyond weird. I explain, cardiac contusion, walk and all. She stayed silent. I asked her if she is an ex. She said yes. I am more shocked. I have to resist the urge to say "Well, effit. You're not alone, we're just as shocked!" but I don't. She's still shocked and sounds as if she's going to burst out crying any moment. She asked me if I'm Adrina [Mind you, my sister's name is Edwina] . I told her no, I'm the younger sister. She still can't believe it. She asks for my sister's number. She apologizes 5 times, saying sorry for bothering me. I tell her it's okay, nonchalantly.. I give her the number. She says sorry one last time, says goodbye and hangs up. I'm still stunned.

I admit, I must have scared her because my nonchalance. I didn't cry and just told her the cold truth. I must've sounded hard. But I wasn't. I was..nervous. The same nervous-wreck that overcomes me when I'm at a funeral. The feverishly giggling one.

For my sake, I hope I was more numb than nervous.

I scare myself sometimes

EDIT.
It IS Emily. The ex that came to my house about 6 to 7 years ago. Woah. Why would she lie about her name? Hmmm.

Through summers

---------------
Hello, there iTunes - The Kooks - She Moves in Her Own Way

Self soundtrack, thanks you Andrina :) I thought it was just the title, but neh, its the whole song too. Also, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR GIVING ME THE YT LINK TO THE SONG. After years of Googling "Milk carton video" without any use, I've finally known the title of the song.

Blur - Coffee And TV

Blur - Coffee & TV

I dare you, tell me you didn't feel a nudge when that little Strawberry milk carton got pwned?

When we bleed, we bleed the same.

----------------
Voulez-vous la musique? - The Killers - Mr. Brightside

My sister appeared in the newspaper [Berita Harian hah] and she's overly happy about it - She bought 3 copies and has been telling almost everyone in my family to buy a copy. I admit, I'm happy for her but I think she went overboard with the whole thing. 3 copies? No, really.
Personally, I couldn't care less about appearing in the newspaper be it her or me for that matter. Hell, I didn't even bother reading the article but I reckon it was somewhere along the lines of dating and love in campus or whatshit.

That's not the case though. See, while she was parading around abusing the house phone calling relatives, I was in my semi-contemplative mood and I came to the conclusion that hell, I'm a gazillion types different from her. I know, I know, we've been over this but heh, I like recollecting ;)

Dear cast and crew of Glee,

Thank you for making me believe again. Not in the regeneration of good TV shows, but for...

No don't fight it

----------------
Voulez-vous la musique? - John Mayer - Daughters

This song has the capacity to make me go on this profoundly high phase. Not that I'm a big fan of John Meyer, still, songs like these are just so :-D

~WE HAVE LIGHTSABERS~

THANK YOU EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT READING, MY LOVELY NON-GAY FRIEND

Anna lent me her uber amazing lightsabers so we could use em for a reenactment of Chapter 5 of The Pearl. I'm guessing no one knows why the hell we're using Star Wars props for a story set in the 20th century but ah well, wait up and see. We are natural badasses like that and adding lightsabers will only add on to the intense display of badassery.

I think if LaiSan read that, she's gonna brick me in the head.

One week holiday is go! Thank you, Chinese New Year. You certainly make living and studying on Malaysia pure bliss sometimes.

I've got it all planned and hopefully no numbskullish circumstances shall hinder it or I'll go commando ass-kicking on somebody so there. If Jo's gonna choke a bitch, then I'm going to kick ass :D

Deal? Deal.

GLEE

"People will tear you down, tell you you shouldn't have bothered in the first place, but let me tell you something. There's not much of a difference between a stadium full of cheering fans and an angry crowd screaming abuse at you. They're both just making a lot of noise. How you take it is up to you. Convince yourself they're cheering for you. You do that, and someday, they will."

How hard is it to not say FML? Very. But let me give that and that other thing a try for one week.

WHEE

BIOSHOCK 2

IS

OUT!!!

Outer gamer person is flailing like woah because I've been waiting for this game for what seems like an eternity.

Anyhoo, I'll try to get it. And try to play it before CNY ends :D

Honorary mention, Dante's Inferno which happens to be available on the PSP so yays!

----------------
The Strokes - You Talk Way Too Much

"DOES ANYONE NEED A KIDNEY?!"

Funny how my iTunes shuffled to the song named after what most people wanna tell me upon reading my blog. Har Har.

What really surprises me about this post is that I typed it while still lucid XD

---------------
Phoenix - Lisztomania

Yo self. You gotta change man. I'm sorry for speaking in ghetto homegirl mode but damn, I'm not down with this either. Anyways, you gotta stop being so down all the time man. I know its hard [Trust me. No shiet. I AM you :D] but you gotta try at least, okay? BE HAPPYY. You can start by,

1. stop being so bittahhhh all the time,
   
2. stop having this genetically-passed-down trait of condemning everyfudgecakingthing,
   
3. stop flickin' procrastinating,
   
4. quit the irritatingly vague Facebook and Twitter updates
5. STOP SHOUTING AND SLAMMING THINGSS HAR HAR HAR I'M BEING IRONIC SEE?? NO?? Meh
6. MAKE MORE HAPPEH PLAYLISTS !!!!111oneone!!!oneone11 :D
7. Quit dwelling in past issues and regrets. Life goes on yo. Ebb and flow baby, ebb and flowwww. Till a raft hits you really hard on the face, you have no reason to swear and shout and argue.
8. WOULD YOU PLEASE TURN OFF YO' GUDDAMN DEFENSIVE MODE? You're giving me a negative rep
9. I beg of you, self, revert back to the overly-caring, overly nice, easily subservient to other people's needs person okay????? I need you to do the that whole Dump-my-bags-and-rush-to-that-person-who's-crying-and-bug-their-life-for-the-next-3-days-asking-them-if-ever-need-anything-or-help-or-a-kidney mode and not the Sod-off-I've-got-better-things-to-do-than-to-feel-sorry-for-you mode. Yes I'm down with the fact that this totally defunks your 2010 psuedo-resolutions but PLEASE. Get yo' arse back to that annoying, overly pious Form3 person, okay?

Last. I'm a nice person. I'm impatient, but I'll learn to overcome this problem. I'll get God's help since He is my 24/7 therapist. Cliche as it sounds, I've been thorough a lot over the course of a year and as May approaches, I want to revert back to my happy self because I know for a fact, that my brother would've want nothing more than all of us to be happy even though he's not here with us anymore.. I miss him terribly like hell but I will get over it. I WILL. Before May, I'm giving myself time to revert back to that usually happy person I was.

Homedude, anytime you feel like headdesking really really hard, READ ROFLRAZZI. Or watch 500 Days Of Summer or better yet read a Paris Hilton interview. The latter has been scientifically proven to let an average human being feel incredibly good [brainwise xD] about themselves

OKAY? OKAY! :D

Disorder

I had the best sleep ever just now. The best since the year started wooohooooo.

But I have a fricking job application to type out now, so seeya.

[Edit as of 7.29 p.m.]

Bahhh humbug. I'll multitask.

I find it somewhat alarming that I haven't blogged about video games in a while. Looking at all my blog posts, they're all so orientated on my life right now, school and stress and whatnots. I'll elucidate, I FRICKING HATE IT. For some reason, I've turned my blog into a spectacle of depression or anger or just plain TEENAGERISM. Again, have I mentioned how much I hate it?

What the hell, self?

Oh wells. Shann's playing 358/2 Days and gahhhhhh, I really want Birth By Sleep to come out right this instant. It's not like I can play it during Trials or whut. Grrrrr. COME OUT!!!

Sidenote, I'm watching Oldboy right now. It's pretty nice, kinda slow imo but since I like mindfuck, it'll do

Addition to my Must Rewatch list : Requiem For A Dream
LOLOLOLOLLOLOL I can't decide between the two movie posters so there! :D

I remember watching it when I was 13. IMO. the movie was the perfect epitome of movies based on books. Requiem For A Dream is about addiction and self-delusion and how it ultimately destroys someone. Maybe yeah, it'll come across as boring but no, I found it beautiful. It was deep, as if it wasn't just a movie, but more of a filmed chronicle of real, ordinary people. It shows you how meek and feeble humans really are, how we succumb so easily to what we want and how our pursuit for that perfect, perfect world to live in ultimately destroys us. It's about our delusional selves.

I think Jared Leto did a really good job in thie movie. Kinda makes you think "Geez , why doesn't he just dump his music career and go back to acting? Nevermind the fact that he's a complete a-hole in real life, he's A REALLY good actor!"

Paint the town n00b

This is like, verneshot explosion of vagueness compressed into a Blogger post. So be forewarned.

If it's one thing I pride my family in, it's their way of interpreting people. They [and hopefully this means me as well] are good at making out people, no matter how vague that person embodies. Granted, it's not the best skill in the world there's nothing ever good about sensing who's an arsehole from a mile away but mehhh, it's good to know how to work with different people. That said, it's no wonder why we're so stoic to each other sometimes.

And if it's another thing I've learned in my 16+ years of living, it's about myself. I learned a lot about myself. What I am, who I'm gonna be, what do I come across as etc etc.

My grandmother said I was stubborn, determined, that I followed my mind over my heart. I don't believe things I until I see them, and am pragmatic. There's truth in that. She said I'll survive.

My mother said I'm irresponsible when it comes to myself, but responsible when it comes to other people. I help even if I bicker, and most of the time, I do just for the sake of feeling nice. It's a trait that I got from my dad.

My sister says I have a deep contempt towards those who are pampered and spoilt to the core. The ones who can't stand up for themselves. I'm withdrawn when it comes to real feeling. According to her, I wouldn't mind defending them, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let them go that easily. Cut short, I contradict myself when I say I like helping, but at the same time HATE HATE HATE spoonfed people.

Daddy says I was an intelligent little kid but he might want to reconsider that now. He also said, I'm way too judgemental for my own good. I admit, there's a colossal amount of truth to that.

Point is. I'm a judgemental realist. I rely a heckload on preconceived notions and when I'm proven wrong, I hate it. I'll survive in the harsh real world because I'm ready for the breakdown and uplifts. I have a fucking god+messiah-complex. I'm not whimsical, I'm 5000 gallons on pragmatism compressed into a 5'4 43kgs dudette. I rely on my left [thanks Joyce] brain since I'm logic-based like that. I have my own farcical little beliefs, but I balance them out. I believe in God, demons, spirits, afterlife, a parallel universe, that lightning doesn't strike the same place twice.

Note. Maybe yeah, some of us aren't the best people when it comes to dealing with problems. Hell, I certainly am not.

I've met people who are special. The ones who can feel what no other person can. It's not a sixth sense because if you think about it hard enough, everyone has a sixth sense. Everyone CAN feel that presence. Even a pragmatic chump like me. But hell, you don't see me parading around shouting about my Casper. -_-
I've come across a lotta people like that before. Even my sister's like that. She sees things, and her dreams, guddammit, you'd be shocked at how perfectly accurate they are. Come to think of it, she did dream that my brother died, she prayed so fricking hard that it wasn't true but :|, it was.

Andddd about school.
*shrugs* It's interesting to watch. But I will not deny that I'm skeptical about it. Maybe some of that intuitive traits from my family got passed down, and that yes, I can make out someone's character. I know for a fact that my deskmate is good at it ;) Perhaps I'm right. Or wrong. Most of time, I'm right about someone. But maybe this time, my ego's about to experience a huge collision course with the real world. We're not ALWAYS right.

Till that day happens, let me live with my condescending, supposed know-it-all, over-opinionated, hypocritically nice self, okay? I'm a class A asshole at best. Still, do I sound like I would care even if my ego did get a dent?

No? No.

Mini rant. How hypocritical can people get? They're worse than me -_-

What the hell is up with ma HTML.

*pokes JiaYun*

SEEEE, I'm not the only one who loves Alexander Wang's model's hair! PLAITPLAITPLAIT!

"The best ones always go young"

Funny, Sandy didn't know what had happened last year and yet for some reason, she brought this up upon seeing Jeff Buckley's Grace. Come to think of it, Jeff's father also died at a young age.

I'm perplexed.

You know that?

I think the Grammys have lost their touch the minute they nominated T-Swizzle for a gazillion Grammys and decided to invite Snooki [WHUT?!] from Jersey Shore but oh wells. I can't say I'm completely annoyed with the wins.

PHOENIX WON :D
ANDDD, love of my playlist, Kings Of Leon's Use Somebody won. Not just 1, but 3 awards, including the ever-prestigious Record Of The Year. Brilliant. Proof that Alternative Rock still has its place.
And Eminem's Relapse won. I didn't even listen to it LOL, but mehh. It's Eminem.

Cons.
MGMT'S KIDS DID NOT WIN? Utter monstrosity. That song was so fricking brilliant, there were 3 version of it dammit. The Kooks covered it. THE KOOKS! But nooooooooo, they didn't win. I Gotta Feeling won. That massively overplayed song. Grrrrr. Oh well.

Just hand me over a goddamn therapist and I'll be fine

----------------
Pearl Jam - Last Kiss

I have confessions to make. They're not in chronological order because my brains's over-flooded with things to say but can't say because I. Just. Cannot. Like I said, FIA-mode is not there anymore, and I'm forced to be a suppress everything and be subservient.

I don't like being meek.

Un] I hate it when my sister comes back. And no, I don't mean typical I-Don't-Want-To-Shareeeeeee type of hate but I mean intensely livid type of hate. This is strong, I know. But ffs, do I really need a +1 in my already strained relationship with my family? No, I'd rather claw my eyes out with a USB port. See, when she comes back, what seems to be a perfect day promptly turns upside down and starts biting itself.

The farcical comparisions and finger-wagging, even Miss Too-Busy-Wearing-Earphones get tired of them. This sounds rude [IT IS], but I just wish they'd F- off sometimes.

Inner monologue : Leave me alone, just for your betterment, okay? Take your biased parents, conceited puppy-bitch, and happy-family themed home decor and go away. Better yet, kick me out! Believe it or not, I really don't wanna blow up in front of the idiots people who brought me into this world :\

deux] The age ol' lines; "Why can't you be more like your sister??" or "Look at your sister, she's [insert positive adjectives]."

I wonder if my mum knows how much it hurts to know that your parents wish you were more like someone else. To know that they want you to change to be like God-Knows-Who. It's sorta like mental plastic surgery, you dig? True, they're only saying this with the intention of trying to get you to become a better person but what if you don't want to change? What if that resistance to change is inevitable? That God wants you to be like this, the person you're so accustomed to being. Not some ex-public phone junkie :P

I get it lahh, she's pretty and she's [suddenly] really smart and she's nice to everyone and she doesn't come off a cold bitch to everyone. Granted, she's a good example BUT I'm incapable of being her. I just can't lie to myself like that.. I could get a million plastic surgeries or get umm, Matt Parkman to tamper with my head like he did to Sylar but at the end of the day,
I'm still me. I'm not Eddy, I'm Ezzie.

I'm not the one who likes stupid Tamil movies;
the one who won Best Speaker by cheating her arse through 4 times;
I'm certainly not the one who's had what seems like 5 boyfriends and still gets hit on by [get this] Iranian guys;
not the smart smart one who studies;
not that bitch people think she's not.
NOT the person my parents want me to emulate.

Hell To The No.

I'm the one
who loves video games more than anything;
the one who didn't even bother to audition for debate tryouts because she felt so insecure;
the one that doesn't even like guys anymore. [I'm not gay, it's just that I feel very disconnected with my SO right now :];
the one who did a 180 degree turns from being the smart one who doesn't study to the stupid one that studies, and still fails;
the one that comes off across as a cold bitch, but is actually a pretty nice person. <- FMS, I hope :)

Inner Monologue Response: Here's a thought, I'M NOT HER. I will never be like her. You can't make me and even you threatened to throw me off a cliff wrapped in a wire gauze. Grr.

trois] I wonder why she's being so deep. It scares me to bits but I hope she's all right. She's still my friend, I love her and things are pretty cool right now. I hope she'll be okay, whatever happens. At least we'll all be here for her.

quatre] I have obviously grown up in a family where merely stating an obvious fact [which I like doing] can't be condoned because it's rude. No shiet. Saying "She didn't want to send me, she said it was too late. Why didn't you just send me?" has the rude equivalent as saying "You insane bitch. Why didn't you just bloody send me? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU IMBECILE" to a normal person.

*shrugs*
Problématique des personnes

Cinq] She's right. Be a neutral person. Condone not, condemn not.

Six] I'm not offended. Seriously. Please stop apologizing, you're making me feel bad! :( It isn't your fault. We're different, I understand that more than ever. Tis not thy fault

Sept] My ear bled just now :\ I'm not gonna tell them. They'll probably just shrug it off saying it's a stress thing. That happens to be my official reason for everything. Brilliant. Other than that, I've pre-diagnosed myself, I shall be a Carpal-Tunnel Syndrome sufferer. Apparently, index finger twitching is a symptom. And here I thought only my wrists and thumb were gonna get affected. There goes my career in medicine. AND. Gastrointestinal cancer. Joy.

Huit] RA-RA-VICTORIAAA, WE'RE NUMBER WA-A-ONE, RA-RA-VICTORIAAAAA! LOL.

Neuf] She doesn't wanna listen. Thick skull she's got, but meh. I'm too damn numb to care. She has always been like that, that girl. Oh wells. That's part of her..urr.. charm? Yes.

Dix] I will not resort to cutting myself. Just hand me over a goddamn therapist and I'll be fine :D Or make me a Don't Stop Believin' playlist, okay?

YOU MORONIC PIG!!

Onze] Shotgun. I will not see the sunshine. It ain't easy being hard.