Cause And Effect

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Hello, there iTunes - Blink-182 - All The Small Things

I prefer to not blog about school, takut takut someone from school stumbles upon my blog and decides to report me for vulgarism or whatnot. I'd like to think my blog doesn't offend anyone since the only people I've come to insult is my sister and mother. Mehh.

I quote LaiSan "This is week is a horrible week" School has decided to play the "'Let's overturn the board and eff up everyone's life!" game. Our class pissed off almost every teacher that entered, we might as well have been demerit-ed 500 marks :P I'm more-than-annoyed at two of my teachers, nitpickers!! At least, get my name right . Geez. 2 mistakes and I've been labeled for the rest of my school life. For the whole period, I just sat there and glared at her. Now if only stares could kill.

I digress. I wanna play Bioshock 2 but damnn.

Also, tomorrow's a holiday! WOOHOO.


Keep on badmouthing her, mum. Karma's a bitch and it's only gonna come back to bite you. Hasn't it already? Remember, what goes around, comes around.

Someday.

Woah. Just woah. Up until 5 minutes ago, my life was devoid of a WTH-inducing phone conversation. Alas, the spell has been broken. I just had the most disturbing phone conversation of my life.

A lady, sounded like mid-20's just called, asking for my brother.

My brother. Who passed away. Last May.

What the burning hell?

Sometimes, we'd have phone calls like these. It's very seldom but it still happens. And the callers are job employers since he was looking for a good job [I have to resist the urge to say, TOO LATE A-HOLE] before he passed on but this lady was different.

Her name is Michelle.

And she is his ex-girlfriend.

What the flying fudgecake-inducing?

Indeed.

According to her, they were both in KL when they started dating. And then she went off to Singapore, losing contact with my brother. It didn't help that he lost his handphone too. Anyway, she's been trying to call for a really long time but I reckon she's been calling in the afternoon or something cos' no one picks up and I only come back at 2.45pm, so yeah.

Today, she called. I picked up. She asked for him. I was silent. I asked her (politely :D) who she was. She said her name's Michelle [I thought it was Emily at first]. I told her, he passed away last year. She nearly says WTF and goes into this verbal-manic thing. I was calm, thank the Lord. She says "What? Wait. What? WHAT?" and she sounds stunned. So am I, as this is just beyond weird. I explain, cardiac contusion, walk and all. She stayed silent. I asked her if she is an ex. She said yes. I am more shocked. I have to resist the urge to say "Well, effit. You're not alone, we're just as shocked!" but I don't. She's still shocked and sounds as if she's going to burst out crying any moment. She asked me if I'm Adrina [Mind you, my sister's name is Edwina] . I told her no, I'm the younger sister. She still can't believe it. She asks for my sister's number. She apologizes 5 times, saying sorry for bothering me. I tell her it's okay, nonchalantly.. I give her the number. She says sorry one last time, says goodbye and hangs up. I'm still stunned.

I admit, I must have scared her because my nonchalance. I didn't cry and just told her the cold truth. I must've sounded hard. But I wasn't. I was..nervous. The same nervous-wreck that overcomes me when I'm at a funeral. The feverishly giggling one.

For my sake, I hope I was more numb than nervous.

I scare myself sometimes

EDIT.
It IS Emily. The ex that came to my house about 6 to 7 years ago. Woah. Why would she lie about her name? Hmmm.

Through summers

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Hello, there iTunes - The Kooks - She Moves in Her Own Way

Self soundtrack, thanks you Andrina :) I thought it was just the title, but neh, its the whole song too. Also, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR GIVING ME THE YT LINK TO THE SONG. After years of Googling "Milk carton video" without any use, I've finally known the title of the song.

Blur - Coffee And TV

Blur - Coffee & TV

I dare you, tell me you didn't feel a nudge when that little Strawberry milk carton got pwned?

When we bleed, we bleed the same.

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Voulez-vous la musique? - The Killers - Mr. Brightside

My sister appeared in the newspaper [Berita Harian hah] and she's overly happy about it - She bought 3 copies and has been telling almost everyone in my family to buy a copy. I admit, I'm happy for her but I think she went overboard with the whole thing. 3 copies? No, really.
Personally, I couldn't care less about appearing in the newspaper be it her or me for that matter. Hell, I didn't even bother reading the article but I reckon it was somewhere along the lines of dating and love in campus or whatshit.

That's not the case though. See, while she was parading around abusing the house phone calling relatives, I was in my semi-contemplative mood and I came to the conclusion that hell, I'm a gazillion types different from her. I know, I know, we've been over this but heh, I like recollecting ;)

Dear cast and crew of Glee,

Thank you for making me believe again. Not in the regeneration of good TV shows, but for...

No don't fight it

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Voulez-vous la musique? - John Mayer - Daughters

This song has the capacity to make me go on this profoundly high phase. Not that I'm a big fan of John Meyer, still, songs like these are just so :-D

~WE HAVE LIGHTSABERS~

THANK YOU EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT READING, MY LOVELY NON-GAY FRIEND

Anna lent me her uber amazing lightsabers so we could use em for a reenactment of Chapter 5 of The Pearl. I'm guessing no one knows why the hell we're using Star Wars props for a story set in the 20th century but ah well, wait up and see. We are natural badasses like that and adding lightsabers will only add on to the intense display of badassery.

I think if LaiSan read that, she's gonna brick me in the head.

One week holiday is go! Thank you, Chinese New Year. You certainly make living and studying on Malaysia pure bliss sometimes.

I've got it all planned and hopefully no numbskullish circumstances shall hinder it or I'll go commando ass-kicking on somebody so there. If Jo's gonna choke a bitch, then I'm going to kick ass :D

Deal? Deal.

GLEE

"People will tear you down, tell you you shouldn't have bothered in the first place, but let me tell you something. There's not much of a difference between a stadium full of cheering fans and an angry crowd screaming abuse at you. They're both just making a lot of noise. How you take it is up to you. Convince yourself they're cheering for you. You do that, and someday, they will."

How hard is it to not say FML? Very. But let me give that and that other thing a try for one week.

WHEE

BIOSHOCK 2

IS

OUT!!!

Outer gamer person is flailing like woah because I've been waiting for this game for what seems like an eternity.

Anyhoo, I'll try to get it. And try to play it before CNY ends :D

Honorary mention, Dante's Inferno which happens to be available on the PSP so yays!

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The Strokes - You Talk Way Too Much

"DOES ANYONE NEED A KIDNEY?!"

Funny how my iTunes shuffled to the song named after what most people wanna tell me upon reading my blog. Har Har.

What really surprises me about this post is that I typed it while still lucid XD

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Phoenix - Lisztomania

Yo self. You gotta change man. I'm sorry for speaking in ghetto homegirl mode but damn, I'm not down with this either. Anyways, you gotta stop being so down all the time man. I know its hard [Trust me. No shiet. I AM you :D] but you gotta try at least, okay? BE HAPPYY. You can start by,

1. stop being so bittahhhh all the time,
   
2. stop having this genetically-passed-down trait of condemning everyfudgecakingthing,
   
3. stop flickin' procrastinating,
   
4. quit the irritatingly vague Facebook and Twitter updates
5. STOP SHOUTING AND SLAMMING THINGSS HAR HAR HAR I'M BEING IRONIC SEE?? NO?? Meh
6. MAKE MORE HAPPEH PLAYLISTS !!!!111oneone!!!oneone11 :D
7. Quit dwelling in past issues and regrets. Life goes on yo. Ebb and flow baby, ebb and flowwww. Till a raft hits you really hard on the face, you have no reason to swear and shout and argue.
8. WOULD YOU PLEASE TURN OFF YO' GUDDAMN DEFENSIVE MODE? You're giving me a negative rep
9. I beg of you, self, revert back to the overly-caring, overly nice, easily subservient to other people's needs person okay????? I need you to do the that whole Dump-my-bags-and-rush-to-that-person-who's-crying-and-bug-their-life-for-the-next-3-days-asking-them-if-ever-need-anything-or-help-or-a-kidney mode and not the Sod-off-I've-got-better-things-to-do-than-to-feel-sorry-for-you mode. Yes I'm down with the fact that this totally defunks your 2010 psuedo-resolutions but PLEASE. Get yo' arse back to that annoying, overly pious Form3 person, okay?

Last. I'm a nice person. I'm impatient, but I'll learn to overcome this problem. I'll get God's help since He is my 24/7 therapist. Cliche as it sounds, I've been thorough a lot over the course of a year and as May approaches, I want to revert back to my happy self because I know for a fact, that my brother would've want nothing more than all of us to be happy even though he's not here with us anymore.. I miss him terribly like hell but I will get over it. I WILL. Before May, I'm giving myself time to revert back to that usually happy person I was.

Homedude, anytime you feel like headdesking really really hard, READ ROFLRAZZI. Or watch 500 Days Of Summer or better yet read a Paris Hilton interview. The latter has been scientifically proven to let an average human being feel incredibly good [brainwise xD] about themselves

OKAY? OKAY! :D

Disorder

I had the best sleep ever just now. The best since the year started wooohooooo.

But I have a fricking job application to type out now, so seeya.

[Edit as of 7.29 p.m.]

Bahhh humbug. I'll multitask.

I find it somewhat alarming that I haven't blogged about video games in a while. Looking at all my blog posts, they're all so orientated on my life right now, school and stress and whatnots. I'll elucidate, I FRICKING HATE IT. For some reason, I've turned my blog into a spectacle of depression or anger or just plain TEENAGERISM. Again, have I mentioned how much I hate it?

What the hell, self?

Oh wells. Shann's playing 358/2 Days and gahhhhhh, I really want Birth By Sleep to come out right this instant. It's not like I can play it during Trials or whut. Grrrrr. COME OUT!!!

Sidenote, I'm watching Oldboy right now. It's pretty nice, kinda slow imo but since I like mindfuck, it'll do

Addition to my Must Rewatch list : Requiem For A Dream
LOLOLOLOLLOLOL I can't decide between the two movie posters so there! :D

I remember watching it when I was 13. IMO. the movie was the perfect epitome of movies based on books. Requiem For A Dream is about addiction and self-delusion and how it ultimately destroys someone. Maybe yeah, it'll come across as boring but no, I found it beautiful. It was deep, as if it wasn't just a movie, but more of a filmed chronicle of real, ordinary people. It shows you how meek and feeble humans really are, how we succumb so easily to what we want and how our pursuit for that perfect, perfect world to live in ultimately destroys us. It's about our delusional selves.

I think Jared Leto did a really good job in thie movie. Kinda makes you think "Geez , why doesn't he just dump his music career and go back to acting? Nevermind the fact that he's a complete a-hole in real life, he's A REALLY good actor!"

Paint the town n00b

This is like, verneshot explosion of vagueness compressed into a Blogger post. So be forewarned.

If it's one thing I pride my family in, it's their way of interpreting people. They [and hopefully this means me as well] are good at making out people, no matter how vague that person embodies. Granted, it's not the best skill in the world there's nothing ever good about sensing who's an arsehole from a mile away but mehhh, it's good to know how to work with different people. That said, it's no wonder why we're so stoic to each other sometimes.

And if it's another thing I've learned in my 16+ years of living, it's about myself. I learned a lot about myself. What I am, who I'm gonna be, what do I come across as etc etc.

My grandmother said I was stubborn, determined, that I followed my mind over my heart. I don't believe things I until I see them, and am pragmatic. There's truth in that. She said I'll survive.

My mother said I'm irresponsible when it comes to myself, but responsible when it comes to other people. I help even if I bicker, and most of the time, I do just for the sake of feeling nice. It's a trait that I got from my dad.

My sister says I have a deep contempt towards those who are pampered and spoilt to the core. The ones who can't stand up for themselves. I'm withdrawn when it comes to real feeling. According to her, I wouldn't mind defending them, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let them go that easily. Cut short, I contradict myself when I say I like helping, but at the same time HATE HATE HATE spoonfed people.

Daddy says I was an intelligent little kid but he might want to reconsider that now. He also said, I'm way too judgemental for my own good. I admit, there's a colossal amount of truth to that.

Point is. I'm a judgemental realist. I rely a heckload on preconceived notions and when I'm proven wrong, I hate it. I'll survive in the harsh real world because I'm ready for the breakdown and uplifts. I have a fucking god+messiah-complex. I'm not whimsical, I'm 5000 gallons on pragmatism compressed into a 5'4 43kgs dudette. I rely on my left [thanks Joyce] brain since I'm logic-based like that. I have my own farcical little beliefs, but I balance them out. I believe in God, demons, spirits, afterlife, a parallel universe, that lightning doesn't strike the same place twice.

Note. Maybe yeah, some of us aren't the best people when it comes to dealing with problems. Hell, I certainly am not.

I've met people who are special. The ones who can feel what no other person can. It's not a sixth sense because if you think about it hard enough, everyone has a sixth sense. Everyone CAN feel that presence. Even a pragmatic chump like me. But hell, you don't see me parading around shouting about my Casper. -_-
I've come across a lotta people like that before. Even my sister's like that. She sees things, and her dreams, guddammit, you'd be shocked at how perfectly accurate they are. Come to think of it, she did dream that my brother died, she prayed so fricking hard that it wasn't true but :|, it was.

Andddd about school.
*shrugs* It's interesting to watch. But I will not deny that I'm skeptical about it. Maybe some of that intuitive traits from my family got passed down, and that yes, I can make out someone's character. I know for a fact that my deskmate is good at it ;) Perhaps I'm right. Or wrong. Most of time, I'm right about someone. But maybe this time, my ego's about to experience a huge collision course with the real world. We're not ALWAYS right.

Till that day happens, let me live with my condescending, supposed know-it-all, over-opinionated, hypocritically nice self, okay? I'm a class A asshole at best. Still, do I sound like I would care even if my ego did get a dent?

No? No.

Mini rant. How hypocritical can people get? They're worse than me -_-

What the hell is up with ma HTML.

*pokes JiaYun*

SEEEE, I'm not the only one who loves Alexander Wang's model's hair! PLAITPLAITPLAIT!

"The best ones always go young"

Funny, Sandy didn't know what had happened last year and yet for some reason, she brought this up upon seeing Jeff Buckley's Grace. Come to think of it, Jeff's father also died at a young age.

I'm perplexed.

You know that?

I think the Grammys have lost their touch the minute they nominated T-Swizzle for a gazillion Grammys and decided to invite Snooki [WHUT?!] from Jersey Shore but oh wells. I can't say I'm completely annoyed with the wins.

PHOENIX WON :D
ANDDD, love of my playlist, Kings Of Leon's Use Somebody won. Not just 1, but 3 awards, including the ever-prestigious Record Of The Year. Brilliant. Proof that Alternative Rock still has its place.
And Eminem's Relapse won. I didn't even listen to it LOL, but mehh. It's Eminem.

Cons.
MGMT'S KIDS DID NOT WIN? Utter monstrosity. That song was so fricking brilliant, there were 3 version of it dammit. The Kooks covered it. THE KOOKS! But nooooooooo, they didn't win. I Gotta Feeling won. That massively overplayed song. Grrrrr. Oh well.