Spaced, Madly.

HOLY FRICKIN CRAP NO MORE EATING CHICKEN!

*groans*

[Edit]

When I was at my aunt's house celebrating Christmas last Sunday, this happened.
Pointers:
BLAH - Shameless thrash-talking

StupidAunt : BLAH BLAH BLAH..*turns and looks intently at my 10 year old cousin* Vanessa, *stares intently, again* you've become sooooo dark. You used to be soo fair and thin, now you're so fat and very dark lah.
Me [I was reading] : *peers up* What the hell? Is she visually impaired or something? How long has it since she's looked at a mirror? She's just as dark and her legs, for Chrissake, they're as thick as an elephant's. Is she retarded or something?
Vanessa : *stares shockingly at stupid aunt, and looks at me.*
Me : Erm. That's cue for me to say something to defend her right? Mhmmm, must say something sarcastic, can't resist smack-talking..Mmmmmmm... *Looks smilingly at Vanessa* Nehh, don't worry. You're only 10 and you've got such a long time more till you start worrying about looking good. *grins wider* And besides, you're not that dark, or fat for that matter. Nessa, don't you think people who worry so much about looking fair or dark or thin or fat are so shallow? It's like you need to pull them out so they don't drown in their stupidness.
Vanessa : *Flashes 'you idiot, I said defend me, not insult her' look*
Me : *Flashes 'play the game you idiotic 10 year old' look* I mean honestly, just wait till you become 20 or something, you'll be gorgeous. I can guarantee that.
StupidAunt : *flashes incredulous look at me*
Me : *smilesmilesmile* Touche, bitch!

And she dared condemn even more after that.

Clueless, stupid aunt. : Mathilda, why are you so FAT? You used to be so thin and small, now you look so fat la. You're face is sooo plump these days.
Me : *mutters "Holy crap lady, stfu already" loud enough for my sister to hear*
Sis : *smirks*
Clueless aunt : *stares and my sister and me, skeptically* What's so funny? *flashes widespread, fugly grin that made her face looks like a 3 pound potato*
Me : Oh nothing..*smiles innocently*
Sis : *straightens face* You look horribly swelled up these days lah. Are you suffering from mumps ah, auntie?
Clueless aunt : Mumps? No lahh. This is just a lot of face fat.
Me : Ahh. FATTT.

I do admit, I was extremely rude, but so was she! Why on Earth did she want to mutilate my poor cousins' self esteem. They're 10 years old, and she's calling them fat, dark, ugly children. And what about her? She looks like a friggin baboon! Rude, retarded, bitch of an aunt.
Yeeeshhh.