Wishing.

The more I spend 24 hours just sitting my arse down and doing pointless things (although I'd be happy to vouch that oscillating from Youtube to Twitter to Persona 3 isn't /that/ pointless), the more and more I'm convinced that the life I want to have is harsh and hard. I mean what I want to be. I'm not going to disclose it here because everyone who reads this knows me and what I want :]

Sure, it's not easy, I'd have to give up a lot. I'd have to bent over a table all night and day. I'd have to give up my blank social life and become remain #foreveralone. I need to have a memory that's..infinite. It's such a glamourized profession sometimes, I wish they'd just straight out tell everyone that it's difficult and by the 5th year, my blood is going to be replaced by caffeine, my eyebags are going to...huge and I'm going to spend every waking minute wishing someone would just run me over with a tractor.

Great, I'm scaring myself again.

I wonder what's or who's going to be there to prevent me from pulling a trigger upon myself.. Existent? Ickkk.

The stress is going to be overwhelming. I'm going to be drenched with exhaustion day and night. Maybe I won't even do my laundry out becausae I'll be too busy sleeping instead.

Hopefully, how much I want it'll trump how much I can handle it.

Oh good God.