4.14.

"You're not that person anymore."

It's true. I've grown. We've grown. We fight less but mean more and that's good, of course. But we're not even there half the time, we've substituted each other for redundant things. The void is filled but emptied a tenfold soon after.

No, we don't fight. But we slowly break more than should be considered healthy. And that's terrifying because the only thing that crosses my mind isn't "We have to make it out of this." but rather "Yeah, closer to the edge. Quickly, now."

I'm always afraid I will change to an unrecognizable point and you will look at me, only to shake your head and say "You're not the person I fell in love with."

And you know, it's not the benefit of the doubt that I'm giving you. I just honestly think that if someone screw this up, it will be me with all my unrealistic expectations and unwarranted resentment. There's only so much one can handle, after all. I want to change for the better because you're the only one who makes me want to be a better version of myself each second. Because that's what I think you deserve. The best version of me. However impossible, however hard.

But I'm also afraid that I'll give up sooner.

I hope you do not give up on me.