I literally spent half my day sleeping like a pig. Achievement unlocked : I am an absolute bum. But instead of waking up and being productive like the rest of the world, I decided to wallow in self pity because I woke up not knowing what to feel, so I just resorted to feeling depressed the whole day instead.
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I'm not joking.
My preexisting one-shot depression was further worsened by my parents being too busy to talk to me (Damn sad one okay), my friends not replying me, another friend too busy to talk, and my I-Wish-You-Were-My-Brother-Too-Cos'-You'll-Call-Me-Out-On-My-Bullshit-and-I'd-Love-You-For-That friend not replying my "Hiiiiiiiii. how are you? :)" text. I don't remember actively pissing anyone off these past few weeks but if I did, I'm honestly sorry.
In his words: it sucks to be me, sometimes.
I figured the only way to battle my anxiety for today (although really, you should just call it the Bella Swan Syndrome instead. Spineless, over-dependent freak.) was to read up on my Korean and memorize 4 dialogues. No hyperboles there, Jinny 선생님 wants us to memorize 4 dialogues for our oral test, she's gonna choose one at random and make us recite it with a partner. An ORAL PARTNER. Yeah. Okay. Tell me that didn't make you grin, I dare you :D
Brownie points, he's so cute!
But back to the topic of little ol' me being a whiny depressed bitch for the day, memorizing a foreign language didn't help because more often than not, I found myself listening to If Only I and bawling my corneas out instead. At one point, I just stuck in my headphones, sat at the balcony and sobbed until I realized there was someone in the opposite block looking directly at me. Awkwardturtle level : Squirtle.
I did reach somewhat of an epiphany though. Perhaps I'll write it down here if I ever do get pass 3 days without being a spineslesslesslessslessssss creep. In short, embrace whatever it is that's killing you. Die in the process of living and maybe you won't feel it paralyzing you slowly.
Morbidity EPIK WIN!
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| On a brighter note, my socio lecturer left this on my paper. Made my day :) |
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| And in my fit of blinding rage and hurt, I decided to write a "Fuck you." essay to my entire existence. Ended it with a lovely but pressured illustration of what I was feeling at that moment. I don't regret screwing over my No Swearing policy for the 985439834th time. |
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| MY BABIES ARE BACK. Expect more pictures like this in the future kthx. |
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| Woooosh. I wrote an essay in Korean. it's so..elementary :D |
Not sure who are those readers who are increasing my pageviews by the hundreds each week, but thanks a bunch for keeping up with the Fairly-Eggsiting Adventures of The Girl Who Thinks She's An Octopus.
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