Wallflower.

Compromising is easier said than done, but when you've pretty much spent your entire teenhood letting people have their way, it does become mind-numbingly easy.

Let them be happy. They'd be perfect. Ohh, let me lock you both in a room, you're so precious. Here, let me throw you an anniversary party! You want my what? Sure, take it. Be happy, you two. I love you both!

Don't get me wrong, I don't say it with gritted teeth or clenched fists either. Surprisingly, I'm genuinely happy when someone I care about finds someone who makes them happy. More than I could ever do. It's pleasant to see someone with that much gravity in your life smile at the sight of That Certain Someone Else. To see them walking together, hands held, lips curved into the warmest smile you'd ever see on their faces. You'll smile too, of course. It's the clearest form of  "I'll be happy if you are."

I just find myself wishing I was That Certain Someone Else more often than I'd like to admit sometimes.

You'd find yourself analyzing what's lacking in you instead. Am I not smart pretty nice enough? Is it cos' I talk too much? But I can't be quiet! Or am I too boring? Too wild of an imagination? I'm thinking toooo too much! Does she have bigger rack? Less scarred legs? Omg it's a race thing, isn't it? 

(I'm not kidding, this is so glaringly possible, it hurts)
I am such an over-analyzing girly witch monster ._.

But yeahh. Compromise. Hold those thoughts in, be happy for them instead. Two people are happy, that's all that matters.

(2 weeks later)

I suppose I could've been more honest. "I like you. I hope you do too. We spent Valentine's Day together! Wasn't that an indication?"  instead of  "That's nice. I hope you're happy with her."

or

"I'm sick of hearing your complaints. I'm right here, can't you see that?"


But this is only happening in my mind. ;)

For now, I'm just going to enjoy being "That Cool Friend".

I think I have a type. The Emotionally Unavailable Type.

Okay, I'm just gonna go laugh at my life and eat nao. Kthxbye!